False Hope

I really wish people wouldn't ask what I'd like to watch when they don't really want to watch what I suggest.


It's hurts less not to be asked, then to find out that they really don't care.


It's not that I don't enjoy what they want to watch.  I do.  Wil always watches interesting things... things I like.  


What I would like -- what I would really LOVE -- is if I could share what I like, what I enjoy, what I LOVE, and have those I share my life with enjoy it also.


But I realize that's not going to happen.  My interests are not sharable, I guess.  I should be happy that they want to share what they love with me -- and I am, really I am.  But I always feel as if I don't quite measure up, that I have to always work on being better and to learn what to like to be part of their lives, to be what I need to be.


I am sad all the time, lately.  Not oppressively sad, not depressively sad, but sad.  I can work through it, and keep smiling and not let the sadness show.  It's little things like this that makes it hard to hide that sad.


Not asking what I want to watch and just telling me what we are going to watch... it's just less sad, that's all.